How to travel if you're change adverse

First things first, you're change adverse of you hate moving from flat to flat, changing your job, have your best friend marry, have your parents move to a different town, hate your restaurant when they fire your waiter, don't like new flavors in your yogurt.

So, if you're like that you will probably be an uneasy traveler because travel means change. The change adverse traveler's guide to new cities is this:
- never take the tour buses to anywhere and never go to see any sight in the first couple of days - do shopping
- always take the metro at rush hour and look with disgust at people carrying big bags and or bags with souvenirs
- never eat in the tourist places and always order non-specific food (no croissants in Paris, no pasta in Florence, no English breakfast in London); actually order the opposite - sushi in Florence, eggs Benedict in London
- speak English - only classical tourists try so very hard to remember how to say thanks in all the languages of the world
- give directions even if you have no idea - makes you feel at home
- buy the local newspaper
- don't take pictures - they will be cheesy ones anyway, 1 gazillion other tourists probably took the same one years and years before

... and you'll be fine :-)

DISCLAIMER: this is a post I wanted to write in a completely new blog about cynical travel but I ended up not traveling all that much this year so...